Life-changing events happen, and they tend to happen when we least expect it.  Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a career shift, a major health diagnosis, or any other significant upheaval, these events can shake our foundation and often strip away the confidence we once held. In the aftermath, it can feel like starting from scratch, standing at the base of a mountain looking up, wondering how we ever reached the summit before. I know this is how I felt when I left my seventeen-and-a-half-year marriage and had to literally start over with not much to my name.  Fortunately, rebuilding confidence is not only possible; it's a crucial step in moving forward. Here’s how you can start that journey:

The first step in regaining your confidence is acknowledging the impact of the event. It’s okay to feel vulnerable, scared, or uncertain about the future. These are natural responses to significant changes. Accepting these feelings does not mean resigning yourself to them but rather recognizing them as part of the healing process.

However, when your confidence takes a hit, the idea of big goals or previous levels of performance might seem daunting. Break down the journey into small, manageable steps. Create a check list of what needs to be done and mark it “done” as you go.  Celebrate each success along the way. This process helps rebuild the belief in your capabilities—one small victory at a time.

Life-changing events will shift your priorities and perspectives. This is a good time to reconnect with your core values. What truly matters to you? How do these values guide your actions? Aligning your goals with your values not only fosters confidence but also adds meaning and purpose to your efforts.  This can be especially difficult when leaving toxic relationships as they tend to diminish one’s self worth and self-esteem.  Take the time to heal and rebuild your self-esteem.  Along the way, you will reconnect with your core values.

The good news is that you don’t have to face this alone. Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you. This could be friends, family, a professional counselor, or a support group. Being around positive influences can bolster your self-esteem and remind you of your worth, especially on days when it feels hard to believe in yourself.

Every life change brings a learning curve. Embrace it as an opportunity to acquire new skills or knowledge. Whether it's professional development or a personal hobby, learning reinforces growth and improves self-efficacy, thereby boosting your confidence.

You will also want to be kind to yourself during this period. Practice self-compassion as you would offer sympathy and understanding to a friend in a similar situation. Avoid harsh self-criticism or setting unrealistic expectations. Self-compassion fosters resilience, helping you bounce back more effectively.  This also includes eliminating the negative self-talk and doubt. 

Another idea is to write about your experiences and feelings.  Writing can be a therapeutic activity as it helps you process emotions and clarify your thoughts. Additionally, looking back on previous entries can highlight your progress over time, reinforcing your sense of accomplishment and growing confidence.

Let’s not forget about taking care of your physical and mental well-being as it can significantly affect your self-confidence. Engage in activities that nourish both your body and mind through exercise, meditation, nutrition, or sufficient rest. Self-care is not selfish; it’s essential.

Another great tool for rebuilding your self-confidence is visualization. Regularly spend time picturing yourself succeeding in your goals. What does it look like? How does it feel? Visualization aligns your subconscious with your conscious efforts and goals.  You may also want to include daily affirmations as well.  Tell yourself that “I am enough.”

Finally, remember that rebuilding confidence is a process. It might require time and persistence. There might be setbacks, but each is a steppingstone. With patience and perseverance, you can rebuild the confidence that seemed lost, emerging stronger and more resilient than before.

Rebuilding confidence after a life-changing event is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s also a profound journey of self-discovery and growth. With each small step, you can regain your footing and emerge with a renewed sense of self, ready to face the future with confidence. Are you ready to take that first step?  If you are, let me know as I’m ready to help. Contact me at Deborah@brokentoboldness.com.

Until next time,

Deborah Griffiths

Website: www.brokentoboldness.com

Email: deborah@brokentoboldness.com