In the complex world of relationships, both personal and professional, certain negative behaviors can arise that are important to recognize. Two such behaviors are "gaslighting" and "ghosting," each distinct in its nature but equally damaging. Understanding these terms and how they work can help us identify and protect ourselves from these toxic dynamics.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person causes another to question their own reality, memory, or perceptions. It's a subtle yet intense form of emotional abuse that can lead to a victim doubting their own sanity. For example, if someone repeatedly tells their partner, “You’re remembering it wrong or it didn’t happen that way,” in response to an event both experienced, they might be gaslighting. This tactic can erode self-confidence and clarity over time, making it challenging for the victim to trust their own instincts.  I lived with a gaslighter for many years and can attest to the erosion of my own self-esteem.

Ghosting, on the other hand, refers to the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone without any explanation. This behavior often leaves the person on the receiving end feeling confused, rejected, and anxious. For instance, if two people have been dating and one suddenly stops responding to texts, calls, and messages without any warning or reason, the person has been ghosted. Unlike gaslighting, ghosting is marked by the absence of interaction rather than psychological manipulation.

Is it possible to avoid being gaslighted or ghosted? To protect oneself from being gaslighted, it is crucial to maintain a strong sense of self and be clear of your personal boundaries.  Keep a clear record of events as they occur. Using a journal or confiding in a trusted friend can help you preserve your version of reality. When suspecting gaslighting, also consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist who can provide guidance and affirmation.

To avoid being ghosted, fostering open and honest communication from the beginning of any relationship is key. Setting clear expectations about communication and being straightforward about one's needs can help deter such abrupt endings. However, it's important to remember that one cannot control another's behavior, and sometimes the best defense is to focus on building strong, healthy connections with those who value respectful communication.  While being ghosted hurts, remember who you are and thankful that you saw the other person’s true colors when you did.

Recognizing these behaviors is the first step to protecting oneself from the emotional turmoil they can cause. By staying informed and vigilant, individuals can better navigate their social interactions and maintain their emotional health and well-being.

In closing, October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Now is the time to ask your local City or County officials to approve a proclamation stating that your City or County recognizes October as the month to prevent domestic violence.  It’s as simple as calling your local representative and they will be happy to help walk you through the process.  Together we can stop the abuse!

Have you ever been gaslighted or ghosted? I would love to hear about it. Contact me at brokentoboldness7@gmail.com.

Until next time,

Deborah Griffiths

Website - www.brokentoboldness.com

Email - brokentoboldness7@gmail.com