As you may already know, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In my effort to continually educate on the red flags and subtleties of abuse, especially gaslighting, I wanted to point out five common misconceptions.

1. It Only Happens in Romantic Relationships: One common misconception is that gaslighting only occurs in romantic relationships. In reality, it can happen in various types of relationships, including friendships, family dynamics (i.e., a parent to a child), and even in the workplace.

2. It's Always Deliberate and Calculated: While some instances of gaslighting may be intentional and manipulative, not all gaslighters have a calculated plan to deceive. Gaslighting behaviors can sometimes stem from an individual's own insecurities or mental health issues. In speaking with some health professionals, many times a gaslighter/narcissist has learned this behavior. At the end of the day, if you have been gaslighted, know that it’s not your fault.

3. It's Always Obvious: Gaslighting is not always blatant and obvious. In fact, it often involves subtle manipulation and gradual erosion of the victim's confidence and perception of reality. This subtlety can make it challenging for the victim to recognize. It took a magazine article in a national publication for me to recognize that something was wrong. Most of the time, things were good, until they weren’t.

4. Victims Are Weak or Gullible: Another misconception is that only weak or gullible individuals fall victim to gaslighting. This is so not true! In reality, anyone can become a target of gaslighting, regardless of their strength or intelligence. Gaslighters can be skilled at exploiting vulnerabilities. They target our basic human need to love and be loved.

5. It's Easy to Spot and Escape: Gaslighting can be difficult to recognize, and escaping from a gaslighting relationship is often a complex and challenging process. Victims may be emotionally entangled or financially dependent on the gaslighter, making it harder to leave. Once a gaslighter knows the victim wants to leave, the gaslighting escalates further deteriorating the victim’s confidence and self-esteem.

Understanding these misconceptions can help individuals better recognize and address gaslighting when they encounter it in their lives. For more information, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. My website, www.brokentoboldness.com, also provides some information and resources including my two bestselling novels, “Torched” and “Open Up!” where I’ve outlined some red flags and subleties of abuse while provide a guide on how you can rebuild your life. Opening up and writing my story has helped me to heal so that I can now help others who have experienced domestic abuse and/or trauma.

Do you have a story on domestic abuse or trauma you’ve experienced? I’d like to hear it. Here’s a link to schedule ninety minutes of uninterrupted time to tell your story: https://calendly.com/d/25r-7h4-h6s. The call is strictly confidential!

Lastly, be sure to click on the “Books and More” tab on my website (www.brokentoboldness.com). You will find some new merchandise (i.e., coffee mugs) as well as some upcoming novel releases. As a side note, fifty percent of the book sale profits for “Torched” are being donated to the Nicole Sinkule Foundation. Her story can also be found on my website.

Until next time, please stay safe and well!

Debbie Griffiths

Broken to Boldness LLC

brokentoboldness7@gmail.com