"Unmasking Narcissism: How It Develops, How to Spot It, and How to Break Free"
Have you noticed when scrolling social media that the words “gaslighting” and “narcissism” seem to constantly appear? Or perhaps listen to the news, particularly political news, and we hear or see gaslighting and narcissism in action. So then what exactly is narcissism, and can it be prevented?
Let’s look at what narcissism is. Most experts define narcissism as a personality trait characterized by excessive self-focus, a lack of empathy for others, and an inflated sense of self-importance. While we can all show occasional narcissistic behavior, full-blown narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) typically develops through a combination of environmental, social, and psychological factors. Understanding how narcissism develops can help us in recognizing and managing these behaviors before they damage relationships.
Unfortunately, I have had the experience of a damaged relationship because of gaslighting and narcissism and began to wonder if narcissism is a learned behavior or is it in one’s DNA. It is believed that narcissism can develop from early childhood experiences, genetic predispositions, and environmental influences. Children who receive excessive praise or are overly criticized, for example, might develop an exaggerated need for attention and validation. Trauma or neglect can also contribute to narcissistic tendencies, as children may learn to mask vulnerability with arrogance or manipulation. The rise of social media, especially with the younger generations, can easily emphasize self-promotion and external validation, feeding narcissistic traits.
So how can you recognize a narcissist? In a nutshell, it requires knowledge and observation of behaviors that go beyond self-confidence. These traits include:
1. Lack of Empathy: Narcissists struggle to connect with the emotions of others and often disregard others’ needs.
2. Manipulative Behavior: They use manipulation or charm to get their way, often leaving others feeling used.
3. Need for Admiration: Narcissists constantly seek validation and praise, often exaggerating their achievements.
4. Entitlement: They feel they deserve special treatment, even when unwarranted.
Still not sure you’ve encountered a narcissist? Then evaluate how you feel after a conversation or interaction with one. Are you left feeling confused? Used? Not heard or validated? Or even an uneasily feeling in your gut? If the answer is “yes”, then more than likely you’ve encountered a narcissist.
Now that we know how to recognize a narcissist, how can narcissism be prevented? As adults, we need to be cognizant of fostering emotional intelligence and empathy towards our children from an early age. Encouraging healthy self-esteem while teaching humility and empathy is crucial. Balanced parenting, where children experience both love and discipline, helps prevent the entitlement that often breeds narcissistic traits.
This leads us to the next issue – you realize that you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Now what? The first step is setting firm boundaries to protect yourself emotionally. Avoid engaging in their manipulation or self-centered narratives. If their behavior becomes toxic, consider distancing yourself. Seek professional support from a therapist and build strategies to manage the relationship. Ultimately, the healthiest approach might be leaving the relationship if the narcissist refuses to change or if the emotional cost becomes too high. Recognize your worth and prioritize your mental well-being. For more information, please feel free to reach out to the Domestic Violence Awareness Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or visit my website at www.brokentoboldness.com.
Until next time,
Deborah Griffiths
Broken to Boldness LLC - www.brokentoboldness.com
Email - brokentoboldness7@gmail.com