The Mask We Wear: Why People Pretend to Be Okay When They're Not

In our fast-paced, hyper-connected world, appearances often take precedence over authenticity. Many people find themselves donning a mask of happiness and composure, even when they're struggling internally. A recent survey I conducted showed that 80% of respondents replied that they sometimes or often find themselves pretending to be okay when they are not.  This phenomenon is rooted in several deep-seated social and psychological factors.  Let’s take a closer look!

Societal Expectations

Society often glorifies strength and self-sufficiency, showing vulnerability as a weakness rather than a natural human trait. From a young age, we are conditioned to meet certain expectations, whether it's excelling in academics, maintaining a successful career, or managing personal relationships flawlessly. This pressure creates an environment where showing cracks in one’s facade can feel like failure. Thus, many choose to present a picture-perfect image to avoid judgment and criticism.

Fear of Burdening Others

The fear of burdening loved ones with one’s problems is another significant reason people hide their true feelings. There's a common belief that everyone else has their own challenges to face, and adding one's own struggles to the mix might overwhelm friends or family members. This often leads to internalizing pain and maintaining a façade of well-being, hoping to spare others from additional worry or stress.

Stigma Around Mental Health

Despite growing awareness, the stigma surrounding mental health issues remains prevalent. Admitting to experiencing anxiety, depression, or any form of emotional distress can lead to being labeled as “weak” or “unstable.” This fear of being judged or misunderstood pushes people to suppress their true emotions, pretending to be okay to avoid the potential social repercussions.

Personal Identity and Self-Perception

Many of us tie their self-worth to our ability to handle life’s challenges independently. Admitting to not being okay can feel like admitting to personal failure. For some, it's a matter of pride; they believe they should be able to navigate their problems alone. This internalized pressure results in a constant battle between their true feelings and the image they wish to project.

The Desire for Normalcy

Lastly, the desire to maintain normalcy plays a crucial role. Life doesn’t pause for personal struggles, and responsibilities still need to be fulfilled. Pretending to be okay helps individuals to keep up with daily demands, even if it means masking their true emotions.

Conclusion

The act of pretending to be okay is a coping mechanism born out of complex social, psychological, and personal factors. While it might provide temporary relief, it’s essential to recognize the value of authenticity and seeking support when needed. True strength lies not in hiding our vulnerabilities but in embracing them and reaching out for help. As I look at this list, I recognize several traits that I need to personally address and that’s okay.  We are all a work in progress! 

Let me know what resonated with you!  Email me at brokentoboldness7@gmail.com.

Until next time!

Debbie Griffiths, CEO

Broken to Boldness LLC